David:
What are some of the things that make us happy, as people in general. Why do you think we have such high rates of depression and drug use in the culture? Are they related?
Doug:
Research shows that having a huge amount of money doesn't make you happier. But having enough money to live on can make a huge difference. I think drug use can largely be an escape from those situations that are seen as inescapable.
David:
Both are true.
There has been quite a bit of research through the years, as happiness is one constant that we all seek. So what are some of the things that tend to bring happiness, or create depression if they are absent? Here are some of the most frequent keys to happiness that appear in sociology/psychology studies.
Surround yourself with happy people.
Turns out that being with happy people can make you a much happier person. Of course, to be accepted into such a group requires you to also be happy. The studies all indicate that if you try to make yourself become more optimistic, you can have a positive influence on others, and they can have a more positive influence on you. If your social media contacts are a bunch of sourpusses, you should clean house, and limit your time spent with these people. It is not hard to complain about things, and complainers also breed other complainers. In other words, you become a mirror of your peer group, according to many studies.
Doug:
The media don't show too many happy people these days. Many seem to yearn for the "good old days" in one form or another. I think people can delude themselves into happiness, and unhappiness. Perhaps there is a form of happiness of surrounding yourself with like-minded unhappy people.
David:
We may long for the old days because when we are young, we have fewer concerns and much more to be happy about. Perhaps we should all strive for the Thoreau advice: Simplify, simplify.
Be grateful.
Start each day praying or thinking about the blessings that you have in your life. Seriously. Studies indicate that simply acknowledging the things in your life that you are grateful for creates joy at having those things, and joy brings happiness. Sounds almost too simple to be true, but it is.
Doug:
I don't know about praying per se, but sure: quiet contemplation seems like it could calm and soothe even the savage beast. But I don't see these suggestions as being "true" or "false." Everyone must find their own recipe for happiness.
David:
There are things that are constants throughout a multiple of studies. To find a real and lasting happiness, you should try to incorporate some of these strategies. You may have some variation, and people can be happy without all of these specific suggestions, but incorporating these into your life will help. This idea is more than just meditating, it's being grateful. That's different.
Be kind to others.
Donating time, money, energy, or anything else to others creates happiness in test subjects. Being forced to pay taxes by the government doesn't do it, however. Giving something away freely created a sense of happiness and well-being in multiple studies. So, to increase your own happiness, find ways to give to others.
Doug:
You just need to adjust your attitude about taxes. Think of it as tithing. And when it is time to pay your taxes, throw in a little extra because you want to be kind to others. Or you wanted bigger tanks. Whichever makes you feel good. Ahhh, can't wait until the next April 15th.
David:
You can actually donate to the government on your tax form. There is a box you can check to donate more than you owe. A newspaper did a survey a few years back (sorry I can't find the source) and found that no politician that argued for higher taxes had ever checked that box on their taxes. I'm going to guess you never have either. But you don't have to follow any specific ideology to give something to others. And studies show it makes you happier.
Doug:
Please stop guessing.
David:
Participate in religion.
Multiple studies covering multiple disciplines found this to be true. There are various ways that religion can make you happier, from a sense of purpose to providing meaning to your life, provides increased happiness to those studied. It also provides you with a like-minded peer group that provides support and happiness around you (see above).
Doug:
For some of us, working for our government can fill that role. Again, it just takes a little mental adjustment.
David:
When big government is your god, it makes sense you would worship it.
Doug:
Working for something is not the same as worshiping it. Why do I feel like I even need to respond to that?
David:
Exercise and eat well.
Even physiology studies show people who eat right and exercise a bit each day have a sense of more energy and well-being. They also tend to sleep better at night, and feel more rested a fresh during the day. These traits make one feel happier about themselves and their surroundings. It can also open doors to friends on the jogging trail, at the gym, or wherever you like to walk for exercise. This can help you to keep it up.
Doug:
Sure, no argument there. Except that you have to have time, money, and energy to eat well and go to the gym. But yeah.
David:
It doesn't take any money to walk down the street or take the stairs. And it costs less to make your own meals rather than eating fast-food. You just have to decide to do it. You'll be happy you did.
Create a blog with your brother.
This just goes without saying, doesn't it? Although it is true that building close relationships with both family and friends makes for the happiest people. Social media friends don't really count. Spending time with real people that you know you can count on when they are needed creates a sense of security that is important for happiness.
Doug:
I don't know about that one. And social media friends can be more meaningful than "real" friends or family, sometimes. Again, that sounds like people grumbling for the good old days.
David:
We've discussed before that the majority of the impact social media has on people is negative. You and I may both have good friends on social media, but there is a great deal of negativity on the web. All of the studies I've seen show the same thing.
The lack of these ideas can leave people feeling adrift, and lead to depression and drug use, as you mentioned. Being happy is a choice. Being depressed is a default position, according to Freud, because it takes much less energy that doing the things that bring happiness. Of course, Freud said a great many things that have been disproven over time.
Doug:
You can't choose your way out of depression. Your suggestions sound like a Hallmark greeting card. Happiness is where you make it. Happiness is who you make it with. I think Freud may have seen a sexual in-your-window on that last one.
David:
The first key to being happier in your life, or turning away from addiction is to admit you have a problem and then decide to do something about it. You say that depression isn't a choice, but then say you make your own happiness. That is a choice. To be more accurate, it's a set of choices.
Doug:
You can choose to do something to try to make you happy, but that doesn't mean that you won't be depressed.
David:
Look around you and be grateful for all you have, and for all the people in your life. Find happy people and spend more time with them. Skip McDonalds, and take the stairs at work. Smile more at others, and spend some time with God.
If you don't believe me, go read the research on your own. It's all over the internet. Just don't get sucked into negative sites....
And then, just be happy.
Doug:
Praise Jesus, eat vegetables, and hug a puppy? Great if that makes you happy. I'll find my happiness in nature, science, family, cheeseburgers, and love. Although we do have a puppy. If anyone is feeling depressed, see a doctor who will listen, and help. And if your idea of happiness doesn't fit someone else's mold, don't worry; be happy.
What are some of the things that make us happy, as people in general. Why do you think we have such high rates of depression and drug use in the culture? Are they related?
Doug:
Research shows that having a huge amount of money doesn't make you happier. But having enough money to live on can make a huge difference. I think drug use can largely be an escape from those situations that are seen as inescapable.
David:
Both are true.
There has been quite a bit of research through the years, as happiness is one constant that we all seek. So what are some of the things that tend to bring happiness, or create depression if they are absent? Here are some of the most frequent keys to happiness that appear in sociology/psychology studies.
Surround yourself with happy people.
Turns out that being with happy people can make you a much happier person. Of course, to be accepted into such a group requires you to also be happy. The studies all indicate that if you try to make yourself become more optimistic, you can have a positive influence on others, and they can have a more positive influence on you. If your social media contacts are a bunch of sourpusses, you should clean house, and limit your time spent with these people. It is not hard to complain about things, and complainers also breed other complainers. In other words, you become a mirror of your peer group, according to many studies.
Doug:
The media don't show too many happy people these days. Many seem to yearn for the "good old days" in one form or another. I think people can delude themselves into happiness, and unhappiness. Perhaps there is a form of happiness of surrounding yourself with like-minded unhappy people.
David:
We may long for the old days because when we are young, we have fewer concerns and much more to be happy about. Perhaps we should all strive for the Thoreau advice: Simplify, simplify.
Be grateful.
Start each day praying or thinking about the blessings that you have in your life. Seriously. Studies indicate that simply acknowledging the things in your life that you are grateful for creates joy at having those things, and joy brings happiness. Sounds almost too simple to be true, but it is.
Doug:
I don't know about praying per se, but sure: quiet contemplation seems like it could calm and soothe even the savage beast. But I don't see these suggestions as being "true" or "false." Everyone must find their own recipe for happiness.
David:
There are things that are constants throughout a multiple of studies. To find a real and lasting happiness, you should try to incorporate some of these strategies. You may have some variation, and people can be happy without all of these specific suggestions, but incorporating these into your life will help. This idea is more than just meditating, it's being grateful. That's different.
Be kind to others.
Donating time, money, energy, or anything else to others creates happiness in test subjects. Being forced to pay taxes by the government doesn't do it, however. Giving something away freely created a sense of happiness and well-being in multiple studies. So, to increase your own happiness, find ways to give to others.
Doug:
You just need to adjust your attitude about taxes. Think of it as tithing. And when it is time to pay your taxes, throw in a little extra because you want to be kind to others. Or you wanted bigger tanks. Whichever makes you feel good. Ahhh, can't wait until the next April 15th.
David:
You can actually donate to the government on your tax form. There is a box you can check to donate more than you owe. A newspaper did a survey a few years back (sorry I can't find the source) and found that no politician that argued for higher taxes had ever checked that box on their taxes. I'm going to guess you never have either. But you don't have to follow any specific ideology to give something to others. And studies show it makes you happier.
Doug:
Please stop guessing.
David:
Participate in religion.
Multiple studies covering multiple disciplines found this to be true. There are various ways that religion can make you happier, from a sense of purpose to providing meaning to your life, provides increased happiness to those studied. It also provides you with a like-minded peer group that provides support and happiness around you (see above).
Doug:
For some of us, working for our government can fill that role. Again, it just takes a little mental adjustment.
David:
When big government is your god, it makes sense you would worship it.
Doug:
Working for something is not the same as worshiping it. Why do I feel like I even need to respond to that?
David:
Exercise and eat well.
Even physiology studies show people who eat right and exercise a bit each day have a sense of more energy and well-being. They also tend to sleep better at night, and feel more rested a fresh during the day. These traits make one feel happier about themselves and their surroundings. It can also open doors to friends on the jogging trail, at the gym, or wherever you like to walk for exercise. This can help you to keep it up.
Doug:
Sure, no argument there. Except that you have to have time, money, and energy to eat well and go to the gym. But yeah.
David:
It doesn't take any money to walk down the street or take the stairs. And it costs less to make your own meals rather than eating fast-food. You just have to decide to do it. You'll be happy you did.
Create a blog with your brother.
This just goes without saying, doesn't it? Although it is true that building close relationships with both family and friends makes for the happiest people. Social media friends don't really count. Spending time with real people that you know you can count on when they are needed creates a sense of security that is important for happiness.
Doug:
I don't know about that one. And social media friends can be more meaningful than "real" friends or family, sometimes. Again, that sounds like people grumbling for the good old days.
David:
We've discussed before that the majority of the impact social media has on people is negative. You and I may both have good friends on social media, but there is a great deal of negativity on the web. All of the studies I've seen show the same thing.
The lack of these ideas can leave people feeling adrift, and lead to depression and drug use, as you mentioned. Being happy is a choice. Being depressed is a default position, according to Freud, because it takes much less energy that doing the things that bring happiness. Of course, Freud said a great many things that have been disproven over time.
Doug:
You can't choose your way out of depression. Your suggestions sound like a Hallmark greeting card. Happiness is where you make it. Happiness is who you make it with. I think Freud may have seen a sexual in-your-window on that last one.
David:
The first key to being happier in your life, or turning away from addiction is to admit you have a problem and then decide to do something about it. You say that depression isn't a choice, but then say you make your own happiness. That is a choice. To be more accurate, it's a set of choices.
Doug:
You can choose to do something to try to make you happy, but that doesn't mean that you won't be depressed.
David:
Look around you and be grateful for all you have, and for all the people in your life. Find happy people and spend more time with them. Skip McDonalds, and take the stairs at work. Smile more at others, and spend some time with God.
If you don't believe me, go read the research on your own. It's all over the internet. Just don't get sucked into negative sites....
And then, just be happy.
Doug:
Praise Jesus, eat vegetables, and hug a puppy? Great if that makes you happy. I'll find my happiness in nature, science, family, cheeseburgers, and love. Although we do have a puppy. If anyone is feeling depressed, see a doctor who will listen, and help. And if your idea of happiness doesn't fit someone else's mold, don't worry; be happy.
I'd be remiss if I did not address the hypocrisy in your comments. As you have so frequently noted, we should stick with the science, and leave our opinions on the back burner. Yet, in this blog, you completely judge the work of hundreds of social scientists and psychologists as their opinions, and not deserving of real discussion. It also appears your advice is to visit a physician for likely pharmaceutical treatment for depression. While that may become necessary, the vast majority of average people could benefit from following the few, simple scientific adjustments listed in the blog. You're a happiness denier...
ReplyDeleteFinally, you compare paying taxes to tithing, and inserted working for the government into the section on religion. You do believe in a higher power. Unfortunately, it's a higher power with very low approval numbers, and a history of graft and failure.